grieving greif

bountiful snow with stagnant

silver wings and baby steps leaning

us forward. i have been in this attic

before and the leaks were

distancing my torso from my

words; i wanted to say,

protect me. 

i tied a frayed knot around 

us. protective

brokens and flowing petals

just stood there and

switched places.

i with you;

them with me.

heat beats

heartbeats in my palms 

with tiger sky skin and tanned

eyes with red clouds. 

heaven sent another angel

and Zen breathed again. 

love slathered in pointed pain

and my dry walls beg

for your tears. 

dissected

removed from our patience and as

fast as we moved, 

equal parts were turned into

silver ether; trapped in this comical,

framed,

screened,

cage. what once were words of entry

now have become lists of lines

to choose, human, from.

i chose to tap and lift and press;

you chose an em-dash and 

contractions. i chose this white because

when i bleed,

at least, breathing, will notice.

pole stamped

regulating the purple blood

under our cold months and

forgotten endings. where you started

to end and i died to breathe again.

vines growing inside me in

distracted nerve endings and velvet pink 

cuts; disguised vertebrae. 

babies crying with frozen

ovaries while lilies grow

besides our poisoned,

beautiful,

immature, palms.   

i waited,

so i can.

i can peace in

this place.

passed words

broken into our halves beginning 

with light and far away 

awareness. 

clean air crisped with open

leaves and sharp branches.

we are rooted in that, you see,

in that, closed-eyed, moss.

meaningful interactions with a

flying spider web; reminded of the

peace and loved bricks.

desensitized doors open for peace 

alien skies partnered in fevers.

I have clouds softer than your

whispers.

deceased.woolen holes.

connection.

wet, ok's.

i am sorry.

breaking breath

with my soul. it was our last firefly 

that reasoned with the candles glow. 

i flowed through the outside and

converted the lavender back into

a distant hole; where she howled and

i fell through her cracks.

we never really could, 

sleep in our dreams...so i kept

us, limb by limb, fracture by broken, 

little by breathtakingly 

big.

will you be disappearing into 

silver threads orchestrated

by that machine?

if so, i guess i already left you

after i

said

wrote

lifted, that.

love me, once more.

it will be the last.

fired frost

to breathe in the 

air where fire fists

bleed through the cold

and beach sand

was lit to brighten 

it.

quiver like sand across my skins eyes'

and fainted corpse blood still

ponders a suicide tear.

will you be enough if i

decide to live, deeper

and wider than your plastic

eyes?

eyes shut as tight as

her grip and i fear no one will

hear my,

blind.

better than never

is dying to remember how

to give birth to love.

my body feels like a mesh net;

filled with drips

of broken-in-half tears.

from my womb that you 

altered with opaque needles

and bold,

lavender

thread.

it is not me

it is not you

it is the scared.

the, beneath the far 

fear and through me.

teach me

how to love.

stoned jewel

secondary but flowing

endlessly through ripped out seeds

that gained soil weight on the

way to their death. supple necks

surrounded by new air

and broken glasses;

eyes that no longer carry

water.  

that was magic,

so,

i still can fly.

protected cat

so kind that binds together

like a hardened smile and broken
off
tear.  

heartbeat.

there was a broken tree

held together by weakened

vines.

i saw fairies helping one another, 

fall.

clavicle crystals and

mushrooms growing under

my toenails. snake

breath overcast by

fortunate

middle-class voices.

a burned one,

who did not mind

my fire arms.

numbered pores

and infinity eyes,

hold my heart while

i go find my

shadow. 

bait in red

we are in our middle

tightened by false glows of

green veins and disturbed

skin. the heart throbs falsely

and the black strings are carrying

my eyes beneath 

the ground. 

let them laugh till

our tears fall into their

deep,

hallow

echoes.

i built a tower with

these words,

upside,

down.

so, i think I end,

here.

no drafts

of purple skies.

yet, grey cemented fingertips 

held tight to my fractured ankles. 

i devote my black lines to 

you now. I relinquish my pains 

in hymes and otherness rhyming. 

im structured in the carved howls

and linger in paragraphs of

pain.

i miss you.

i am swiss skies without 

holes;

just opaque grey clouds 

layered with tears.

layered with tears.

layered with tears.

without furry breathes 

or hearts beating

or capitals.

no more lies no more lines 

no more waves unkind. 

just what we had with stamps 

approved by your limitless 

sighings of settling.

i am swollowed whole

and yet, 

there are our yets,

waiting to dry.

compression tears. 

moiste kiss. 

there you are, Zen.

i am free in

you.

covered down

to my toes and beneath my

summarized lips.

there is a yellow mountain filled

with grass and heartbeats.

where the moon once loved

the sun, a lovechild of freedom

portrayed us.

red

white

never blue.

honey

running in the pink sky;

he said there was more 

in the black turned, tips.

flower ends are turning violet

just by being here. by breathing in

the calves running and filtered

grass

splitting.

finished under water

with tubes 

tied to died

aliens.

i stepped on our 

batwings and

cried lungs out.

my heartbeat is

alive and

windy

and perfect.

granted avalanche

when we arrived 

the amulet was damaged and 

broke

the

moments erased.

the moment you get out

of that.

it has left our warped feeling of

what i should have done

could have said

when they hurt me.

because in this tap tap tap of

letters into moods swinging into

crying skins;

i excavate your, beneath me.

i rise

above you because this

this

I

is all that is.

real.

freckled, wrinkes

with a calm, coma between my breathes,

i hope you can see through my nerves.

thirty seven printed out with floral

ballerinas dancing across 

this opaque black ocean on my sky;

blades of fear and

loathing. growing veins out of

darkened yarn that crows themselves

wheeled together for our dream.

dormant buttered flies opening

their courage as the violet sunrises claim 

their empty cocoons,

filled with voided rainbows

and distant thunderstorms. 

my freckles are fading

into wrinkles are

fading into scars

are fading into porcelain 

cells 

are

floating free.

god in you

iron flavored tulips

are growing their own

understood

feathers. 

domain free

dominant in my heavy ended

sacral root.

where the crown

and manifested opal

marry and divorce in each inhale

and muted exhale. 

red doors with breaking foot skins

under the disguised cameras;

i am fortified without their

supplements. 

with you

to love your whole shaking

and falling and soak your new

wings in my, forever, tears.

i willed your fresh eyes and

lose fingertips in every

lifetime.

i get to marvel at your unpunished

willingness to sing every note

of this galaxy;

where you and i

are floating above

the new moon's

full 

black.

i am lost in your ethereal

chase of brush strokes

canvased

and washed;

painted and 

published against 

omniscient skins. 

your

peace

is an exquisite velvet shawl

of  security, divinity

around me.

you are who

i want to grow

into.

eve of etched skin

i am adorned with light

colors and peanut filled

pregnancies. of how spring felt

once the newborn eyes flipped their

noses against our fins.

i wanted you more,

now. that is your peace. 

i see me i am celebrating 

you all. i invite you to stay.

bleed no more.

the wound is healed

and remembered.

savage

slaughtered veins 

raw moss

broken branches,

still bleeding lime.

 our family lived in ruptured

shavings of neglect and

oppression. we walk with

the blisters of the lowest

to highest caste. the middle clouds

i killed the contractions as they

were waiting space on my

velvet words.

his half moon

wings are part of our

world. now. and 

always. 

biological software

through our veins we are

green and violet

at the same time our marigolds

decided to bloom.

bugs are drawn from our blood

and the gutters are clear

they are pulling a glowing

tadpole 

his back was wrapped

around his history...

against my eyes. 

defeated skins. 

i will save us.

sweetened shadow

 with shaded green who

rose through their shadows.

i will embark on your stems now

and embrace your veins into mine.

i am supreme in your direction

towards purple skies fading deeply

slowly

into an unwanted fist.

i have let go;

goodbye, fire,

hello freshly,

shredded,

skins.

war outside my skin

 plastic water dribbling down the

court of my tissues.

can i leave your presents

and pretend we left.

feathers pulled out of my back

to make your hands,

less grateful.

long, curvy, never serious

hands...

i am aware

of my cloudy eyes.

but you, 

you are hurt by their

knowledge.

pregnancy

creating a new domain

and self authentications;

only one more click before

we become an after.

we lose all our leaves. 

she fights for the growing

limbs of humanity and we keep

poisoning 

her 

green blood. blue hair.

she is pregnant again 

and we are forcing

an abortion. 

awarded

for breaking the tear in

half. for crafting paper

with soul-less poetry

and then hearing its crunching

disappointments. 

where we are holds me better than

myself. 

i am your mystery 

in 

myself. 

unsaved

begin filtering 

because loving me

means i already 

swallowed. back to spine

and chords are bleeding grief.

the loss of , depressed,

compressed,

hidden bones.

i am so full.

i ate pain.

i am going for 

our walk.

non scent

i authored your body

all over mine, mind,

and still,

you left without my

scent. eye opened up

your, no, our, portal.

i am the forgotten dried leaf

solid, moss, soil,

beneath my own courage.

but, i

stand still with my my children;

momma's roots will

never let you go.

in-depth

i have stamps from you;

they did not even fade

from the burns.

they grew harder

even though my muscles

melted.

i made space for us

through the ashes,

i conquered portioned 

dreams.

when the dust still settled

we were breaking walls with

eloping tears. filled with elephant skins,

just around the eyes.

the way he described me;

brought my bones backwards 

and the shattered are now,

purposefully stacked.

it no longer is me, you see.

i am the

lowercase i in

omniscience.

folded butterfly wings

its permanent, it is not meant o unfold

like your plasticity of a dosage,

a clear before and after,

a distinct wet to dry.

no, it will not unfold.

i am a forever in this way

but a never in your eyes

because sometimes a butterfly's wing

is broken

and she keeps

flying with a strength

filled

void. 

i am remembered

and all that matters is

that i read all her streams of

cherry blossom losses and

Billie Holiday on repeat. 

i apologize

to your silence and i am 

embarrassed

to lead these small lashes 

penetrated with baby pink,

boiled, dreams, 

full of

life.

i am collected with

warmer words

and closer

closed wombs.

red eagle eyes

i was delivered by black seeds

of pink flesh.

lottery of dried flowers are

torn between our toes and my

palms are inaugurated. 

staggered words because i

erected my back and bleed 

clean

water.

we were never there

maybe, the artist only knew how

to paint her with

clenching her fists. hair mimicking

the clouded nightmares

of his brush stroke and

her cordial screams.

i am lower-cased flowers

orbiting an indigo chakra;

my organs shiver

and smile. i am displaced by

your empty clouds and the

full moon is wrapped around

my neck.

solitude flame

because from the ashes

you will hear me 

breathing one, single,

life. even the colors they made

divide and conquer

to

rule the white

rule the black

face the wall so

we can blindfold your

blood. 

unhinged sleep

 walking among the dread of

each potent crime; where your religion

killed our religion and the religion 

sacrificed

love. 

do not worry, my littles,

i will never set you apart.

we were born in her green

and blue arm eyes

and will die and re-birth in

her brown velvet.

love

is my 

faith.

what dangles

what dangles in front of them 

distracted distance. feathers ripped

from our first truthful soil. 

in our human sun, we deny the 

omniscience of unbalanced eye

glares. feminine power was killed

and the violence

suites me.

because i am the poet

you 

tried

to

hush.

in a room full of butterflies

i am clipped 

forgiven and privileged 

in private consoles.

my cocoon smells like

nightingale grass who's eyes

are still closed from

my screaming.

i have scratched my lungs to breathe

you in and my acid from your stiff swearing

leaves numb but fragile 

stains.

i am now as severed as these paragraphs;

separate and

loud

and

loved.

 

carry me to the moon

because I fell apart and my shadow 

wanted a clear suicidal breath.

i locked my hair.

i loved you.

i fall behind.

i am not lost

i am just untangling

my wings.

then, my fairy

we can continue our

garden of empty walls

and full poems.

plagiarized vocal

i started creating a moment

then shaking off my anxiety came clean.

i tripped pver my elevated worry lines and

calmed the chores to performance 

perfection 

maybe we should let the rain shrink

our forbidden so we can break off

the forgotten. 

lava eyes

i skated through your glads

eyes, only to find melted distance. 

maps of our children commenced in

decades of slow dancing;

a lovers stone easily tumbled.

lava eyes and blood glass.

storms of chipped grass and mountain edges

have slowly moved castle wars and muted concerts.

i am concerned in capitals but keep letting you glide on thr beliefs,

that it was a delightful mistake.

we share ourselves in light magic

we share the same air and pant when

the lilies die, 

in the same breathing. 

with matte colored eyes 

desperate to close their third mouth;

i noonger salivate with your downward

thoughts. i sing through our cracked skin

and listen with open light.

light magic is here to stay.

green aura'd space is here to stay. 

unconditional love and giving thereby thereby thereby is now and forever.

i am here. 

born again.

dispersed

vandalized and corporate 

without any doubts of removing 

the edges.

poverty chases us and we rather

burn alive then die alone in

love.

i lost you and remembered us.

i found you and lost you with my

wordless and nothingness that was caught between our empty repetition. 

i will change it and soften my

clenched fists that wrap around 

the thickness of past air.

and there, a multicultural boat

will take us back home.

i'll save you from her

because her rubber eyes are closed

and childhood has survived us all.

worthy dress pants are hung and

basement stench has turned to

dusted gold. we bought our freedom 

and hugged our family's wobbly 

legs.

but,  i am alive to see them

collide into my stiff neck

open heart 

closed fears.

love story

famished shoes

running with wrong turns

x-ray sidewalks and dances without 

toes.

drained shelters black masks

tired love. love stories

for the navy blue skies.

metal words with courage to drag

her baby pink plastic suite case 

on wheels scared for their lives.

love stories for all, and

none.

cotton death

we can always begin again.

begin in the circumference of

heated hate 

and crash into our own

walls without getting burned.

bleached eyes and eclipsed hearts;

what if we drew out our

heart valves larger than the

fake curves?

i do.

back to clean my waves

as i wanted to, i said goodbye.
i walked through the opaque noise
and kept listening
even though i knew better
feathers were being plucked off
my back and my arms stopped breathing.
i folded into wasp bites and the paper
trail bled out; dry closed eyes.

i am sorry we collided- you and i.
i should have held you closer
while the wisest of the blind
fell over my pain.
bloody regrets
now dried up as forever
roses with spineless
thorns.

sorry won't be enough.
living will.

tell me when the sky is purple

because no one does this anymore;
they travel unto our fingertips
and delete the human velvets off
their core, and into my

corpse bleeding with delusions.

and so,

i am freed in your farm-filled
intentions.
his response was loud silence 
slowly justified.
slow movements of law and
lotus a fortress of forgiving
veins standing crooked,
perfectly. 

poem piercings

if i die now,

the holes will never heal

and the swollen

will swallow their deep,

closed mouthed 

breathes.

midnight openings 

that peirce us will reunite 

me, and i.

stapled with shining hurt,

because I am falling apart

and your arms are no longer 

stoned enough. 

i enjoyed our airbrushed 

cyclical 

submerging; it is over

now.

you're breath has wings...

i've never met that before. 

thank you.

built

we built this whole life together 

but, or, and- the wolf blew it away.

now we're standing on our open,

dusted, graves and its only then we realize, 

there are two.

then we disappeared.